No one ever goes into a marriage thinking that they’ll eventually get divorced. But for many couples, this becomes the reality of their life. So if your family fell apart and you now find yourself ready to make this same commitment to someone else all over again, your past could make your very hesitant, especially if you have children from your previous marriage. So to help you approach this new situation confidently, here are three tips for getting remarried when you have young kids.
Be Sensitive To Your Child’s Feelings About Loyalty
Bringing a new person into your child’s life can get pretty tricky. Especially if your child has a particularly close bond with their other parent, he or she might feel like they’re being disloyal if they give your new partner a chance or start to develop a bond with them. Knowing this is half the battle of helping your child deal with these emotions. According to Ron Deal, a contributor to FamilyLife.com, if you sense that something like this is going on for your child, speak to him or her about how they can still love their mom or dad while also loving another parental figure as well. Share that there’s no betrayal going on and that it’s okay for them to take their time getting to know your new partner.
Slowly Make The New Partner Part Of Your Routine Family Life
Family dynamics are often engrained pretty solidly into your children’s lives, which means bringing a new person into the equation should be done with care. To help with this, Wevorce.com shares that introducing your new partner into your children’s lives often works best if you slowly include your new partner into the routines of your family life. Try not to have them there for too much too soon. By taking things slow and easing your kids into a relationship with this person, everyone will be allowed the time and space they need to come to terms with their feelings.
Recognize That Adaptation Will Take Time
Big changes, like getting remarried and bring a new parent into the mix of your family, usually isn’t an easy task to tackle when you have little ones who crave stability and routine. Because of this, HealthyChildren.org advises that you come to terms with the fact that adaptation will likely take time for everyone involved. Growing pains are likely to occur and the sailing won’t always be smooth. But if you’re consistent and loving with both your children and your new partner, your family should eventually adapt to this new normal.
If you’re considering getting remarried, use the tips mentioned above to help you make this transition with your kids and your new partner.